The famous American novelist Ursula K. Le Guin said: “The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next.”
Those who crave certainty and want to be in total control of every part of their life, including their future, most probably will disagree with this thought, but that doesn’t change the fact that this is true.
Because no matter how hard you try to plan your life out in detail and no matter how hard you try to control every part of it, the truth is that you can’t control everything in life. No one can.
Life is unpredictable. It’s full of uncertainties and changes.
And what does this mean?
It means that your life will not always go the way you wanted and planned. That things you feared might happen to you will happen when you expect it the least. That not all your plans will come to fruition.
And I must say that I know this the best.
Because I used to plan everything. I used to believe that I had everything under control.
I thought I had a deal with the Universe. I thought that if things turned out the way I wanted, everything in my life would be okay.
So, oftentimes I made detailed plans about my graduation, career, wedding, and kids. But regardless of how meticulously I made these plans, the outcome was not the one I expected.
Thus, my wedding day was way different from the one I planned after I graduated.
My apartment doesn’t even have one single similarity with the one I always fantasized about having five years ago.
And because I don’t work as a teacher, apparently that dream didn’t come true as well.
And still, I’ve been fine.
Okay, cosmos. I see your message.
It’s not actually about the plans.
… although making them is so pleasurable and fun. Yes, it feels great when you make long lists of the things you want to achieve in life or detailed plans about important events in your life. And it especially feels great when you tick the things you have already done or achieved.
The only problem is that the details we’ve planned so meticulously rarely turn out that way.
And the truth is that the more you’re attached to details, the harder it becomes for you to kick the habit of planning everything. For example, sometimes when I want to know whether I’ll be okay, I have a hard time figuring out the details. And then I feel lost and helpless.
Another ugly fact about this attachment to plans is that it’s easier when you’re younger and all the plans you make involve only you. But now, there’re many other things in the picture besides me: my partner, our families and friends, my career, and, of course, expenses I didn’t have 10 years ago.
The whole thing is like a puzzle and the more pieces it has, the harder it is for me to plan everything out and envision what my own life and the lives of my loved ones will look like.
But I’m gradually learning that I’ll be perfectly fine even if I don’t know all the details and answers now.
Because I know what’s most important to me. Because I know who I want to have close to me in my life.
Because I’ve realized that I have to take one step at a time and stay patient until I feel the way I want to feel.
Because I’ve realized that if I have all the answers in the present, that’s not a guarantee that I as well as the people and things I care about will be all right.
So, it’s time for you to begin to trust that you will find a way to be okay irrespective of what happens.
You will find a way to be all right even if you still don’t know whether or when you’re going to have your next child, or whether you’ll be living in the same place you live now in 10 years’ time.
You will find a way to be okay although you still don’t have the answers to all your “where’s,” “when’s,” and “how’s.”
What you need to understand is that you can never tell what tomorrow might bring, and that you can’t control everything, no matter how hard you try.
You need to understand that life is unpredictable and the future is uncertain.
You need to be open to everything your future might bring knowing that you still haven’t figured out all the details.
You need to stop searching for answers. Because you don’t need to know all of them and you don’t need to know all the details so as to know that you’ll be fine no matter what.
Of course, I’m not saying that you should never make plans or imagine what your future might look like, but when you do that, be flexible. Don’t try to control your future but be curious about it.
Don’t spend your life planning everything out in detail and trying to control all parts of your life, thereby needlessly putting pressure on yourself.
Instead, learn to enjoy and savor every minute of your life and let the Universe surprise you.
Riley Cooper is a professional writer who writes informative and creative articles on topics related to various fields of study. Written with love and enthusiasm, her articles inspire readers to broaden their knowledge of the world, think and get ready to act.