The Struggle Of Maintaining A Long Distance Relationship And How To Keep The Spark Alive

Sometimes, even beside your best efforts, it is not possible to stay together. Once distance and commitments decide to keep you apart, there’s nothing you could do about it, except hope for the best and do everything in your power to maintain your relationship.

Now, if you ask me, managing a long-distance, ‘online’ relationship is not an easy thing, but if you truly want to make it work, you will succeed. Missing your lover, craving their physical touch, yearning for their presence are truly difficult challenges to accept. But, these obstacles shouldn’t necessarily be the end of a romance. Distance can really put a strain on your relationship, but it is up to you to decide whether you want to work hard to keep the spark alive, or you are too tired to fight for something that simply won’t make it.

Beware. Many people around you won’t encourage you to go for it, and some of it will even mock you for taking it too seriously, but the only person you should always listen to is yourself.

Even though most people disapprove of long-distance relationships, it is comforting to know that several studies have shown that these ‘online’ relationships can be slightly more trusting than regular ones.

It’s hard to believe, isn’t it?

Just think about it. We all crave emotional satisfaction. Whether it’s in the form of communication, understanding, compassion, verbal kindness, gestures of appreciation or listening skills, it’s something we truly need to feel connected to another human being.

But, is physical closeness truly necessary to attain this level of intimacy?

Apparently not. Because a 2013 study who aimed to investigate the differences between long-distance relationships and geographically close relationships, found out that couples who managed an ‘online’ love felt more committed to their partners, happier with their relationship and less suffocated or trapped than the couples who were geographically close to each other.

Anyhow, despite some of the advantages, a long-distance relationship is still a work in progress just like every other relationship. So, here are 5 things that will always help you stay in touch and keep the spark alive even after a long time apart:

1. SEND EACH OTHER EMAILS

Remember. If you’re in a long-distance relationship, the only thing that connects you with your partner is your phone, and probably your Facebook. So, even though sometimes we cannot avoid the frustration of seeing them ‘offline’, we still have to find a way to leave some kind of message.

Always greet each other “good morning” and “good night”. Set up a date and make time to skype all night with your lover. Update each other on everything that is happening in your life. Whether they’re photos, love notes, small talk or videos, they’ll appreciate it more than you think.

2. DON’T UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF SURPRISE GIFTS

They’re 500 miles away from home. So, what? Is that an excuse to not send meaningful gifts or love letters? Absolutely not.

If you’re worried about transportation, just find a similar place in the country they live in and contact them online. Order the thing you know they’d like and surprise them!

3. LAUGHING BRINGS YOU CLOSER

True, we cannot cuddle long distance, so our oxytocin (the hormone that is released when we snuggle up) levels can run lower than usual. But, there’s nothing that bonds people instantly like laughter. At least for me. I’ve personally felt that every time I burst in laughter with someone, I immediately bond with that human being.

So, laugh. Laugh until you cry. Tease each other, tell jokes, reminisce about all times. Let that oxytocin go wild.

4. WATCH THE SAME MOVIE/SHOW

I’ve never tried this one, but the minute I heard about this, I knew I had to share it with guys. There are so many ways to connect with your long-distance lover, yet we often overlook them.

Make a deal to watch the same movie together, but apart. Curl up on the couch, make a cozy atmosphere and enjoy. Just knowing that they’re probably in the same position watching the same movie will make your oxytocin go through the roof.

5. DON’T FORGET TO SAY, “I LOVE YOU”

Be affectionate. Be verbal. Don’t be afraid to be over-expressive of your emotions. When you’re apart, your words and your attention are the only bridges that connect you with your partner.

A professional writer with many years of experience in the fields of psychology, human relationships, science, and spirituality.