There is nothing as hurtful as having that feeling that your significant other doesn’t see you as a priority. Being in a relationship where you have to struggle with this kind of feeling is extremely painful. It makes you doubt your sanity. It destroys your self-worth. It kills your happiness. It makes you feel betrayed, weak, and hurt.
When you’re with the person you love and care about the most and who stands on the top of your priority list, it’s not too much to ask from them to treat you in the same manner.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you or your partner should forget about your needs, goals, and desires and only focus on those of the other person. It doesn’t mean you should completely forget about your life. Whether it’s family stuff, friends, health, or work, these are all important, inseparable parts of your life and you should never neglect them.
However, you still deserve to feel and know you’re important to your partner.
So, how do you know your guy doesn’t see you as a priority and he’s only stringing you along? Well, here are some pretty simple questions that can help you find that out:
Does he ignore you for hours and then just starts talking to you like nothing happened? Does he enjoy hanging out with his friends more than spending time with you? Does he rarely express his love for you publicly? Is he still “single” on his profile on Facebook? Is he still not committed to you and avoids subjects related to that matter?
Well, if you answered yes to all of the questions above, then I’m sorry, but you’re only a girlfriend of convenience for him. Nothing else.
You’re not a priority because your guy isn’t putting enough effort into the relationship. Because he doesn’t treat you the way you treat the person you love the most and means the world to you. By the way he treats you, he makes you feel like you’re more alone than “together” with someone.
Instead of feeling complete and fulfilled, you feel empty. You feel like you’re someone’s favorite pastime or last-minute arrangement.
You start racking your brains with questions, such as: “What am I doing wrong?” or “Why doesn’t he make me his priority?” or “Am I not good enough for him?” And to make yourself “good enough” for him you start pleasing him and doing your best to meet his expectations. Thus, you try to be the most committed partner; the perfect lover; great in bed; the most loyal friend; his greatest support and help.
But, you’re missing an important point here. By treating him that way, you let him know that he’s going to get all those things no matter what. He doesn’t feel the need to put the same amount of effort and time in the relationship and please you the way you please him.
You need to know that by prioritizing him and his feelings, opinions, needs, and wishes while neglecting your own, you’re not going to get the attention and love you want and deserve to be given. You’re not going to get the harmonious, meaningful, deep, successful relationship you want. You’re not going to get the happiness, peace, and warmth that you expect your man to provide you with.
What you’re going to get, instead, is crumbs of attention when he needs something from you. When he needs your advice, help, or support. When he needs you to boost his fragile ego. When he needs someone who will patiently listen to him while he’s venting his frustrations and anger. When he needs to have fun and satisfy his needs, be that in bed or otherwise.
What you’re going to get is a man who will be charming and kind whenever he has to justify his bad behavior and lies. A man who will make you feel like you’re his priority, but you’re not and you’ll never be.
But, you, Girl, are better than this. This is not what you signed up for.
You deserve someone who will be aware of your worth and know how to appreciate you.
You deserve someone who will make you his priority every single day because you’re worth it.
So, stop prioritizing the man who only sees you as an option. Stop hoping that your love for him will change him. Stop believing that if you change your habits, or hairstyle and the way you dress, or put your needs and goals on hold, all this will make him like you more. Stop trying to be the person he wants you to be.
Because if he truly loves you, he’ll accept and cherish you the way you are. If he truly and unconditionally loves you, he’ll want to be with you and make you his priority not because he has to, but because he wants to.
Stop letting him break your heart and shatter your hopes. Instead, start valuing your time, energy, effort, and feelings. Learn how to love and value yourself more. Learn how to protect yourself from people who don’t deserve to be a part of your life. Because if you don’t love and appreciate yourself, no one else will.
And if your man is too stupid to see the value you possess, he is not worth your love and attention.
If he doesn’t make you his priority, there’s absolutely no reason why you should make him your own. Period.
Riley Cooper is a professional writer who writes informative and creative articles on topics related to various fields of study. Written with love and enthusiasm, her articles inspire readers to broaden their knowledge of the world, think and get ready to act.