Spending Time Alone Doesn’t Mean I’m Lonely Or Unsociable

When thinking of someone who loves spending time alone, what words pop into your head? Recluse? Loner? Unfriendly? Weirdo? All of these? Or is there another word you’d use?

Well, if you associated all of the above-mentioned words with a person who enjoys doing things alone, know that you’re not the only one – many people think of loners these ways.

Yes, a lot of people consider being alone as a bad thing. And I’ve felt this on my own skin more than once, to be honest.

You see, I’m a person who enjoys doing things alone. And whenever I tell my family, colleagues, or friends that I went out for dinner by myself or that I went on a 2-day trip out of town alone, they look at me with pity.

They immediately conclude that I must have felt very lonely and they start to bombard me with questions about why I went alone and why I didn’t ask them to accompany me.

But the truth is that I didn’t need any company. And, NO! I didn’t feel lonely and there’s absolutely no need for anyone to pity me.

Because the fact that I love spending time alone doesn’t mean that I feel lonely and unhappy or that I don’t like hanging out with others.

Yes, I know that we are “social creatures,” meaning we’re more likely to be around other people, enjoy hanging out and sharing our experiences with others, and thrive in public settings.

So, those who like shopping or going to the cinema or restaurant alone are automatically regarded as introverted and they end up being pitied by those around them for not fitting into the “Social Creatures” category – the one where all humans are expected to belong to.

But let’s get things straight once and for all: spending time alone doesn’t equal loneliness.

Spending time alone is what everyone needs.

Being alone gives you the opportunity to reflect on life and gather your thoughts. It gives you the opportunity to figure out who you really are and what you want in life.

The more time you spend by yourself the more self-sufficient you are and the more you learn to enjoy your own company. Just as the famous American essayist and philosopher Henry David Thoreau said: “I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.”

Being alone gives you time to reflect on your feelings and thoughts. It gives you the opportunity to figure out what your main priorities are and where you want to get in life.

Being alone offers you the opportunity to find out what aspects of your life need improvement. It offers you the opportunity to think about what changes you need to make in your both personal and professional life on your journey of self-improvement so as to become the best version of yourself.

Yet, it bewilders me how negatively spending time on your own is considered to be. Going to a restaurant or bar alone is literally a nightmare for me. The staff just keeps asking me if someone is going to accompany me. And by the way the other people around me look at me, I can tell that they’re imagining the tragic story of my heartbreak and feeling pity for me.

So, I want to get one thing straight: spending time alone doesn’t mean I’m lonely, unhappy, or unsociable.

It doesn’t mean I’m unfulfilled or desperate or that I can’t stand being surrounded by others.

In fact, I feel quite happy and comfortable when I spend time on my own. Why?

Because being alone helps me get to know myself better. It helps me explore my deepest feelings, thoughts, insecurities, and fears and nurture my soul. It gives me time to reflect on the things that I’m doing wrong in life as well as compliment myself on my successes.

Being alone also helps me figure out who deserves a place in my life and who doesn’t. It helps me realize that I deserve to be surrounded by trustworthy, kind, and positive people and that I need to cut out of my life all those who are stealing my happiness and dragging me down.

Being alone saves me from the discomfort and pain of hanging out with shallow or manipulative and negative people and engaging in small, superficial talk.

Rolling solo also helps me realize that it’s better to be alone than with someone who makes me feel lonely. Someone who takes me for granted and who doesn’t care about how I feel. Someone who is incapable of holding meaningful, stimulating, interesting conversations. Someone who isn’t genuinely interested in me and my needs and wishes. Someone whose soul doesn’t match mine.

Honestly, I thoroughly recommend spending time on your own. Do the things you’ve always wanted to do, but didn’t because you didn’t have company.

Learn to enjoy your own company and give your soul and body what they need. Give some of your time to yourself and never worry about whether others will judge you for that.

The Red Tea Detox